9.22.2013

Masters of Sex

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I am BEYOND excited for the new show, Masters of Sex, that debuts September 29th on Showtime. However, that day also marks our one-year anniversary (Woot!). I can't reasonably plan our day around a TV show, so I just expected to catch it On Demand at a later date until I came across the ENTIRE PREMIER EPISODE on Facebook. Geeked is an understatement of what I felt as I watched.

My excitement about this show stems from its subject matter. Masters of Sex is based on the biography of the same name written by Thomas Maier about William Masters and Virginia Johnson. The Masters and Johnson research team pioneered in the field of sexology; William Masters was a physician in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Washington University in St. Louis and Virginia Johnson was hired as his research assistant. Together, they created a model for the human sexual response and worked together to further develop the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders and dysfunctions from 1957 to 1994. A lot of knowledge we take for granted (i.e. that women are multiorgasmic, sometimes fake orgasms, etc.) was shared by this pair. The research they produced also debunked the 1758 assertion that masturbation causes blindness, the 19th century thought that sex for pleasure would ruin the body, and Freud's belief that clitorally induced pleasure probably revealed unresolved psychological  problems.

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Additionally, I have benefited in many ways by their work. The first book I ever read about sexology was written by Masters and Johnson. Also, my sex therapy supervisor, Linda Weiner, LCSW, worked at the Masters and Johnson Institute (so I can say I'm trained by Masters and Johnson by proxy. ...kinda. No, not really. Anyway...)

The contributions of Masters and Johnson are significant in that they worked to bring science into the bedroom. ... or brought sex into the laboratory. Either way, they revolutionized the way we think about and study sex and sexuality and I am super excited about this show!

Links About Masters of Sex:

9.17.2013

Mood Music...

I love Internet Radio. Pandora and Spotify make my workdays just a wee bit easier. I can design a station based on my favorite artist, comedian, or even a favorite song and have hours upon hours of great music (or comedy) to fill my day. At home, we often listen to both platforms (I have a pretty dangerous playlist on Spotify called Groove if you follow me there) but it's interesting what comes on the radio. ...which leads me to a question I was asked a little while ago:

"How do you handle having sex while listening to the radio when the music switches to a Gospel song?"

I have to admit that, at first, I did chuckle a bit because this has happened on a few occasions. You're listening to your Jill Scott station at work and a Fred Hammond joint slides through. You hit like because it's your jam and you think nothing of it. ...until you're grooving to Crown Royal on Ice while hands are on hips and you're acting out the other lyrics and Imagine Me by Kirk Franklin pops on. Awkward can't quite describe the feeling.

This question was asked by a married woman who said she discussed this topic with her husband, so let's take it from the perspective of a married couple having sex and a Gospel song comes through the speakers when it wasn't exactly time for Praise and Worship. How do you handle it?

First, know that it's okay to laugh. It's okay to look at each other with that, "I wasn't thinking about Shirley Caesar" look in your eyes and laugh. It's also okay to hit skip or, if you're not listening to one of the above platforms, change the station. If you're not comfortable, don't feel bad about it, but just shake it off and count it as an opportunity to laugh and grow.

However, if you're not comfortable and it's more than something you can just laugh off, I think it's important to explore reasons why. In Christianity, God has been taken out of sex for the most part. Christians are not taught to pray before sex or even think about God outside of the occasional exclamation in varying forms of "Oh God!" which are generally accepted. However, our sexuality is, in fact, a gift from God. I believe God wants us to enjoy sex within loving, healing relationships. However, if we experience feelings of guilt or shame when a Gospel song comes on, what do you think it stems from?

Because of Jesus' sacrifice, we're free from guilt and shame. However, when we share ourselves, our most sacred being, with people who don't treasure us, we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience God's true design for sex. If a situation like this ends up being more than something you can shake off, I think it's important to ask yourself why and not be afraid of the answers.

So, what do you do when Albertina Walker creeps in on your R&B station? Honestly, if you're sharing yourself with someone who truly values you and God is glorified (yes, God can be glorified in everything we do), press skip and keep the party going.